I’ve often wondered who decides the definition of a lot of terms that are commonly used in my social circle. For instance, who decides what behaviour constitutes stalking? Is it a blanket term or a purely personal realisation? Shouldn’t the person being pursued decide if it is harmless or toxic? I think we can all agree that the harmless becomes toxic when the fascination turns into obsession. But again, who decides when that transition actually happens? Is it the people involved or the ones looking at it from afar? And what exactly do the women think and want?
These are some of the questions that popped up in my head when I saw Chaman Bahaar and Rasbhari — two popular Hindi OTT content, currently streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video, respectively.
The three W’s of stalking
Who
Chaman Bahaar is set in the time of Raja Hindustani. The film that made people believe that a poor cab driver can end up with the love of his life even if she is a rich girl living in opulence. It is that kind of blind bravado that has seen contrasting results over the years. Now, do we analyse Chaman Bahaar as a reflection of those times or as a product of these times? For instance, we see child marriage in Bulbbul, but we don’t outrage over it because it is set in the pre-Independence era. So, why is Chaman Bahaar expected to follow the 2020 edition of political correctness?
Nevertheless, there is no doubt that the girl, Rinku, in the centre of it all in Chaman Bahaar, is a victim of stalking. Every minute of her life outside the safe confines of her home is subject to relentless pursuit by men who think it is their birthright to shoot their shot. I call her girl and her stalkers men because this is exactly what it is. She is in high school and the men stalking her are at the very least 5-6 years older than her. However, would I refer to Billu, the enterprising paan-waalah whose shop opposite the girl’s house becomes the main adda for these stalkers, as a… stalker?
Well… he doesn’t exactly fit the bill. He looks out for her, albeit with selfish reasons. He doesn’t want the local bigwigs, who are at least 15-20 years older to the girl, to woo her. This doesn’t come from a place of good-heartedness but is just an attempt at clearing the field. So… how do we judge him?
In Rasbhari, a web series set in the smartphone era, there is no actual following of English teacher Shanoo Bansal. But we are introduced to another facet of stalking — snooping or keeping tabs on a person’s activities. And this is not just done by the lead character Nand Kishore, a horny teenager, but also by almost every woman and man of the town.
Why
Now, it is crystal clear as to why Mrs Bansal of Rasbhari is stalked by the other dwellers in the town. Nand Kishore wants to lose his virginity to the hottest woman in town. The men want to sleep with the hottest woman in town who has earned a reputation of being “easy”. The women want to “save” their men from the clutches of Mrs Bansal.
Similarly, the reason for stalking in Chaman Bahaar too is pretty straightforward. Rinku is stalked… because she is a girl. A fair-skinned girl. A fair-skinned girl who wears shorts. A fair-skinned, shorts-wearing girl, who goes to school riding a bike. A fair-skinned, shorts-wearing, bike-riding girl, who hardly looks at any of her stalkers. What makes the pursuit of Rinku stalking is the fact that she has no agency in it at all. At no point is her response to any of this documented. There is not even a reference in passing. It feels too skewed a narrative.
But… there is a question we must ask ourselves. Is our problem with the “pursuit” or her age?
There is also one other problem with the blanket vilifying of such pursuits. In a world where there is no concept of dating, if a person likes someone, what else can be done but to follow them, hopefully without being intrusive. Again, who decides what is intrusive? So… we are back to the question of who decides what is stalking?
What
Many of us who cry hoarse about why stalking is wrong sometimes tend to label every “pursuit” as stalking. The thing is… the definition of stalking is quite dynamic. If knowing where your subject of fascination (SOF) will be there, and standing at that spot to impress that person is stalking, then how else do you expect two strangers to fall in love? If we do away with this facet of trying to make an impact on one’s SOF, then aren’t we pushing for a world where only people within the same social strata fall in love? If they can’t meet in neutral places then we are left with two prospective lovebirds only coming from the same school or college or workplace etc… It narrows down the type of people we meet. Invariably, with the skewed social system, these people, more often than not, come from the similar social hierarchy.
Moving into the digital age of pursuits, we now see that an overzealous liking of tweets and Instagram posts is considered stalking. Yes, if a person feels so, then it is completely valid, however, does it hold good in every case? How else can a person make their presence known to a SOF acquainted only through social media platforms? We can’t assume everyone has the necessary wherewithals to let a SOF know that they are being fascinated upon through the power of their words.
It is important to realise that India is not only about its urban populace where easy tools for reaching out to a SOF is available. Even among the urban elite, where such tools are readily available, there is no uniformity in its usage and its reception. Then how can we decide what is the one right method to pursue a SOF or even let them know they are one? In a world where terms like dating are non-existent where do the SOF and the pursuer find a place to co-exist?
Rinku of Chaman Bahaar is from the upper strata of society when compared with most of her stalkers. But can her family be blamed for doing what they did to save Rinku from her stalkers? Some might see it as showboating of the class difference. She even has to bear the brunt of disgruntled pursuers who paint her as a “bewafa”. But Rinku just doesn’t say anything. To be honest, the idea of making Rinku, someone who has no say in anything in her life, not utter a word at all in the entire show is a nice angle to explore. It goes on to show that it is not her furtive glances, longing stares or the half-smiles that make pursuers pursue her. Her mere existence makes people fight with each other for her. Similarly, Shanoo of Rasbhari too is painted with the brush of magical realism to showcase her sexuality, even if it is painfully problematic at times.
However, we never get to know what Rinku or Shanoo actually felt about being this constant centre of attraction for people across ages. In the case of Rinku, we are distracted by the ups and downs in Billu’s life. We see his humiliations, his retaliations, his machinations and what-nots. Through all this, Rinku says nothing and we know nothing.
Shanoo fares a bit better though. She has a flashback. She has a support system. She has a basic idea as to why certain things are happening in her life. She has repressed memories. She is built up as an enigma, which in a way silences her. The thing is, through all this, Shanoo does say a lot… but we still know nothing.
And that is majorly because both Chaman Bahaar and Rasbhari are essentially reflections of the male gaze. There is no doubt that the intentions are pure but the sums don’t quite add up to the intended whole.
Yes, in Chaman Bahaar, Billu turns a new leaf after being subject to intense physical and mental humiliation, but not before his actions force an unsuspecting girl and her family to leave the town. However, even before the weight of this “message” sinks in, we are shown Rinku too had feelings for Billu. Now, what is the takeaway from this film? We can think of how things would have been simple for Billu if only he approached Rinku directly. But it begs the following questions — Would she have been vocal about her like? Would her family even accept it if this equation came into light? Have they watched Raja Hindustani?
Yes, in Rasbhari, Nand Kishore turns a new leaf and helps Shanoo escape from the clutches of the town’s women who want to publicly humiliate her. However, even before we come to terms with Nand Kishore finally learning to respect women thanks to Shanoo’s teaching, we are hinted that the magical realism portion of this series is a farce. If Rasbhari is seen as the manifestation of Shanoo’s repressed sexuality, then when does the line between real and illusion blur? When did she realise the line is just there in theory? Did she actually cross the line or is it all the overworked imaginations of sex-starved townsfolk?
It then brings us back to where it started.
How did Rinku realise what Billu did wasn’t stalking? When did Rasbhari realise that her fascination has become an obsession? It is okay if they don’t actually get to do anything to change their plight but it is important to give a semblance of idea as to what the female characters are thinking. It is a very thin line between scathing social commentary and misplaced social justice. It does no good to anyone that Rinku has no agency whatsoever in Chaman Bahaar and Shanoo’s overdose of agency in Rasbhari comes with a side order of confusion and titillation. Of course, both can exist as is, but the lack of agency in these women is a reflection of the biggest undoing in most content made for any kind of platform.
This kind of male gaze results in one very important question going unanswered almost every single time even in content that deals with themes like women empowerment etc…
Well… what do the women want?
Avinash Ramachandran 